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Becoming a boy mom. What you need to know

Being the momma of boys is something most people either are really excited for, or terrified of.
these are some things you need to prepare for.


1) DRAMA
the first thing people say is "boys! less drama" all I can say is WRONG.
the biggest difference is that boys don't usually whine and tattle, they throw punches.
  they still roll their eyes, and stomp their feet, and slam doors.
Just the other day kodys grandma asked xander what he had for lunch, he said "taco bell"
she said "oh yeah? was it good?"
This kid looked at her and said "yeah, I finally got some real food"
facepalm  as if I don't feed him.


2) FOOD
while we are on the subject of food; one day they will not eat anything, no matter what you offer or how much you beg. then you turn around and they wont stop eating all day long.
The pediatrician says they will eat when they are hungry, he was right. they have yet to starve.


3)  FARTS
 I was born laughing at toilet humor. some aren't that lucky. If you don't think farts are funny, you are in for a stressful life. Boys love to fart, they love the sound, they love to stink, they love the word itself.  just laugh about it and move on. If you make a big deal about it, you are only going to make it worse. Just be sure to teach time and place. I.E not in church during prayer, and not at the table.

4) THE TOILET
while we are discussing potty talk, get used to the toilet seat being up. Don't fight it, they need it up. When toy live in a house full of boys, you are the minority. Just be sure to look before you sit, and save your breath to argue about the more important issues. like aim. and flushing.


5) BATH TIME
bath time used to mean a nice relaxing shower, maybe a bubble bath with rose scented soaps.
not anymore.
now it means soaked floors, and splashed  clothes. and reminders to use soap....  EVERYWHERE

6) MESSES
some days I feel that I just might go insane if I have to clean up one more mess. I feel like I've spent all day scrubbing and the house is still a mess. this isn't due to lack of parenting. I spend 75% of my day teaching and harping at them to clean up after themselves. the other 25% is spent re-cleaning what they've "cleaned" after they've gone to bed.

7) SAFETY
time to rethink what you consider "safe" because one minute you are standing behind them as they learn to walk ready to catch them in case of them falling down. the next minute they are on the back of a 4 wheeler screaming "GO FASTER, DADDY!"
my kids drift in their power wheels that are rigged with lawn-mower batteries to make them go faster.
go ahead and get a brown paper bag to breathe into the moment they walk out the door with their dad.

8) NUDITY
boys love to be naked. any time... all the time. most days we barely get through the door before I find someone's pants in the floor. By the time the clothing trail ends I'm lucky if they have underwear on.

9) WEINER HOLDING
just like the phrase "twiddling your thumbs".... boys twiddle their diddle.
they spend 98% of their day holding, pulling, rubbing, or flicking it. Why? I've never had the courage to ask. Remember to never accept a High 5 without first asking  "did you wash your hands?"

10) KETCHUP
have plenty of ketchup... they will dip EVERYTHING in ketchup. Don't bother trying to stop them. they like to know what it tastes like on everything.
my son wont eat a piece of bread if it has a hole in it, but will dip his animal crackers in ketchup every single time.



raising boys is a surprise every single day. you have to have a sense of humor. they will catch you off guard. pick your battles, wash your hands, and if you ever question "poop, or chocolate? on a towel hidden in the back of the hamper, always assume poop.

until next time,

Elizabeth







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