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You're gonna be fine

Was it when they said you were transverse breech?
Was it when I heard the doctor ask for the vacuum assist as you were being delivered?
Was it when you started projectile vomiting every feed?
Was it when you weighed an ounce less at one month than you did at birth?
Was it when you had the ultrasound for pyloric stenosis and it was positive?
Was it when they took you out of my arms to do surgery on you at 4 weeks old?
Was it when the surgeon said "I made a mistake"?
Was it when the radiologist said you weren't ready to eat after it had already been 4 days? 
Was it when you were discharged, but still vomiting?
Was it when I took you for a weight check and they sent you back to the hospital?
Was it when they said the words 'failure to thrive'?
Was it when you were still losing weight?
Was it when you were diagnosed with severe reflux?
Was it when you started to gain some grams slowly?
Was it when you couldn't climb over the 1st percentile for weight?
Was it when you caught a cold and spent the night at Riley?
Was it when you choked on your reflux and stopped breathing for seconds that felt like hours?
Was it when I was told you might not be able to hear? 

When was the last time I remembered to breathe?
Because today... Today when they told me you were looking great and gaining weight steadily. Today when they said you were in the 5th percentile for weight. Today when they said you were going to be just fine.... Today when they said just a little bit longer and the treatment will be enough... Today I remembered to breathe. And it felt like I hadn't in so long. 
Today my tears were those of relief.  Of joy. Of gratitude. 
Today I am confident that you are going to thrive, and be just fine. 
Today you are thriving. 

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